We’ve all been there: you’re finally face-to-face with a prospect, and you’ve got everything ready—your product details, your impressive pitch, your list of features. And before you know it, you’re talking… a lot. The prospect is nodding along, but their eyes have glazed over, and suddenly, you realize you’ve lost them. That’s the classic “show up and throw up” mistake, and it can sink even the best sales meetings.
I’ve made this mistake more times than I’d like to admit, and it took years to understand that selling isn’t about overwhelming the buyer with everything you know. Instead, it’s about delivering the right message at the right time.
Understanding the Temptation to Over-Share
Here’s a hard truth about selling: enthusiasm can sometimes work against you. When you’re passionate about your product, it’s tempting to tell the prospect everything. I used to feel that I had to justify my presence in a meeting by showing just how knowledgeable I was. So, I’d talk… and talk… and talk. But I soon realized that when I was talking, I wasn’t learning anything about my prospect, and I certainly wasn’t selling.
Why do we fall into this trap? For one, we want to impress. We want to show we’re the expert and that we know our product inside and out. But here’s the kicker: clients don’t buy products—they buy solutions to their problems. And if we don’t ask about their challenges, we don’t know what problems we’re solving. I’ll never forget the first time I noticed that a prospect’s attention waned about halfway through my pitch. I was saying a lot, but I wasn’t saying anything relevant to them. That’s when it hit me: I needed to listen as much as I talked.
Listening as a Tool for Control
One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in sales is that the person asking the questions is actually the one in control. If you’re the one talking, you’re just along for the ride. Early in my career, I would prepare a list of questions to ask, but the moment I started “throwing up” information, those questions went out the window. I thought I was “guiding” the prospect by telling them everything they’d ever need to know, but really, I was just overwhelming them.
When I finally shifted my approach to asking thoughtful questions before diving into product specifics, my success rate started to change. By asking, “What’s your biggest challenge with [relevant topic]?” or “What would you consider an ideal outcome from a solution like this?” I was able to make the conversation more about them and less about me. This allowed me to understand their needs deeply and only pitch what would directly benefit them. The difference was night and day.
Crafting a Relevant, Engaging Conversation
So, how do you avoid the “show up and throw up” approach? The key is to view the sales conversation as just that—a conversation, not a presentation. Here’s what I’ve found works best:
- Start with a Simple Agenda: One of the best ways to set the tone is to start with a basic outline of the meeting. I’ll often say something like, “Today, I’d like to understand a bit more about your goals and challenges, share some ways we might be able to help, and then we can decide if it makes sense to move forward.” This approach does two things: it lets the prospect know this meeting is about them, and it keeps me from falling into the trap of “throwing up” every detail right away.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: The best questions are the ones that get the client talking. Instead of asking, “Do you need more leads?” (yes or no), try something like, “What’s your biggest frustration with generating leads right now?” or “If you could improve one aspect of your current process, what would it be?” When the client opens up, you’re not only gathering valuable information, but you’re also building trust.
- Mirror Their Responses: When a client answers your questions, it’s easy to jump right into a solution. Instead, try mirroring back what they’ve said to show you’ve heard them. For example, “It sounds like streamlining your process is a big focus for you right now.” This simple tactic not only makes the client feel valued, but it also reinforces that you’re aligned with their needs, not just pushing your agenda.
The Importance of Asking Before Telling
When I first started incorporating more questions into my meetings, I was surprised by the impact. One meeting in particular stands out: I had a scheduled call with a prospect who had seemed lukewarm in previous interactions. Instead of jumping into my pitch, I began by asking a few open-ended questions about their business goals and recent challenges. What I discovered was that their primary concern was budget control—not the advanced features I’d been planning to highlight. With this information, I pivoted my approach to focus on cost efficiency, and it completely shifted their interest.
Asking before telling isn’t just about being polite—it’s about ensuring that your solution is relevant. By gathering insights first, you’re setting yourself up to present only what’s meaningful to them, which helps avoid the “show up and throw up” mistake.
Building a Two-Way Dialogue
Selling should feel like a dialogue, not a monologue. I’ve found that when I’m doing it right, the meeting is a balanced back-and-forth. If I notice that I’ve been speaking for more than a minute or two without any input from the prospect, I’ll pause and ask, “Does that resonate with what you’re experiencing?” or “How does that align with your priorities?” These quick check-ins keep the prospect engaged and give them space to respond.
One trick I use when I feel like I might be losing someone’s attention is to ask a question that shifts the focus back to them, like, “Can you walk me through how you’re currently handling [relevant process]?” This not only re-engages them but also gives me valuable insight into their current setup. It’s a simple approach that keeps the conversation focused on their needs rather than my pitch.
Wrapping Up Without Overwhelming
At the end of the meeting, it’s tempting to recap everything you’ve discussed. But rather than rehashing every point, I keep my wrap-up simple and client-centered. Instead of saying, “Here’s everything we can do for you,” I’ll say, “Based on what we’ve discussed, here are the key areas where I think we can help.”
This approach does two things. First, it shows that I was listening. And second, it keeps the prospect from feeling bombarded with information they don’t need. I’ve found that prospects leave these meetings feeling more confident and less overwhelmed, which often leads to faster decision-making.
Bring Focus to Every Meeting, Leave the Rest Behind
The “show up and throw up” mistake is one we all fall into, especially early on. But the best part? It’s a habit you can break by bringing more intention and focus to your sales conversations. Remember, your goal isn’t to show off everything you know—it’s to understand what they need.
By asking smart questions, listening intently, and tailoring your responses, you’re not just selling a product; you’re building a partnership. When you leave the “throw up” approach behind and make the conversation about them, that’s when the real selling happens.
